Once upon a time the title to this post was: Top 10 Keto Substitutes from Pasta to Pizza.

Then, oh and then, I climbed a tower of swirled spaghetti hair to find a gorgeous layer of keto food bookmarks that merged fantasy into reality. It was then, in the golden hair of a spaghetti squash princess with meatball eyes, that I realized this post was destined to be so much more.

The delicious amounts of food just had to be shared.

This post is the bard to the failed author that started this post with a tiny idea of 10 substitutes with a few examples.

His play was about cheese being part of a sandwich. Sure, it sounds nice, but only someone holding a grilled cheese with OCD would actually go see it. Maybe an artist that believes the art of watching someone make a cheese sandwich supercedes making it at home. The whole heating it part becomes a thrill.

Excuse the cynicism

I’m getting a bit annoyed by artists from living in Marfa. I’m writing a fantasy novel for two months and I’ve been here 21 days. The locals are incredible, but the tourists…. There’s a bunch of young humans that come here to photograph dirt as though it’s new.

Pasta and pizza took a cue on this post from Flint and rained in sodas, alcohol, sweets, tacos, mashed potatoes, rice, snacks and chips in mass abundance. You’re going to have recipes for months. 

Fine fine, I concede. That’s still ten categories.

Don’t worry about running out of room though. This will just take one bookmark spot for you.

I was going through my mega hoard of bookmarks that I stored up when I was first starting ketosis and I realized there were so many it could easily be a 50 keto alternative recipes. Oh ha ha went food reality. We’ve got 100. Oh wait, 120 without even trying?

Nope. 150. There could even be more.

So many humans just love to embrace fats and the full blown pleasure they give our bodies. There are so many recipes from so many great blogger chefs just waiting to be tried.

So let’s start at the beginning, pasta.

Oh a❤ means it’s my favorite.

Yeah. Emoji Code.

???? means it is sacred in the keto community and must be treated with mouth respect.

???? means I’ve tried and love it. It just isn’t the topgasm

Pasta for:

Spaghetti Squash, Cheese, Almond Flour, Zoodles or even Cauliflower Noodles

Low Carb Pasta.jpg

I never truly loved Pasta. I’m Irish not Italian. What I did love was the sauce and the meatballs on top of the pasta. I usually set the noodles aside and ate those delicious balls of soaked meat with the respect my mouth dedicated to their seduction. The fun of the noodles playing on my fork was a delight though. The game of ‘keep it on the fork’ is one I never mastered. Gnocchi is awesome. Simply stab.

Now I’ve replaced fun texture with veggie mouthgasms. Spaghetti squash compliments meats and sauces and gets to be a delicious flavor all on its own. You can feel the life nutrients fondle your brain into happiness. Mmmmmmmmm. I love it so much. Excuse me while I go pop a squash into the slow cooker. I recently realized you can just put the whole thing in and cut it once cooked. Recipe coming soon. Still need to take pictures.

Recipes:

24 Low Carb Spaghetti Squash Recipes from BuzzFeed

Cauliflower Mac’n Cheese with English Cheddar and Bacon from All Day I Dream About Food

Garlic Butter Zoodles with Herbs from The Iron You

????  Keto Garlic Gnocchi from the Primitive Palate

Almond Pasta with Bacon and Wild Mushroom Sauce from The Primitve Palate

Bacon Spaghetti Squash Fritters from Julia’s Album

Buffalo Chicken Spaghetti Squash Pizza from Shared Appetite

Spaghetti Squash and Meatballs from Mind Lifting Mouthgasms

Spaghetti Squash Hashbrowns  from B.Britnell

Sausage and Peppers Stuffed Spaghetti Squash Boats  from Nutmeg Nanny

Pizza Bake with Spaghetti Squash from Anne Sage

Twice Baked Spaghetti Squash from All Day I Dream About Food

Low Carb Ravioli with Two Fillings from Low Carb Ology

Zucchini Lasagna from Say Yes

To Buy:

❤  Your Local Farm : Get to know the people giving you  life.

Miracle Noodle Shirataki Noodles 

No Oodles Zero Carb Noodles 

Bread for:

Almond Flour, Cheese, and Coconut Flour Bread

Low Carb Bread.jpg

Seriously though, we’ve got it covered. Besides, coconut and almonds taste better than wheat. I’ll consider you a friend and use the argument I do with all those that let me leak words into their minds about food. I’ve finally gotten to where food isn’t in every other sentence. *Is so happy to not be food cult minded anymore*

Would you really go to a field and just eat a piece of wheat? Not unless you’re on grass. You would eat coconut or almonds raw though. We use those. It makes baked even better.

Recipes:

????   Toasted Sub Sandwich Bread / multipurpose bread from Maria Mind and Body

Cauliflower Bagel BLTs from The Iron You

Coconut Flour Biscuits from I Breathe I’m Hungry

????   Microwave Hamburger Buns from Ruled.Me

❤  Olive and Rosemary Faux’caccia from The Healthy Foodie

Zucchini Feta Muffins from All Day I Dream About Food

Low Carb Soft Pretzels from My Tootie Foodie

Cauliflower Breadsticks from iFood Real

????   Everything Bagel Dogs from The Primitive Palate

Sausage and Egg Low Carb McMuffin from Taste a Holics

Multi-purpose Low Carb Bread Recipe from All Day I Dream About Food

To Buy:

Julian BakeryPaleo Bread – Almond

Great Low Carb Bread Company

Coconut Flour

Almond Flour

Tacos for:

Lettuce Shell, Cheese or Almond Flour Tacos:

PicMonkey Collage.jpg

That crunch, that munch that smoky and spicy meat. Tacos have been my favorite food since I put them inside me. Honestly this was the hardest thing for me to give up and finding that lettuce shell substitute and that Torchy’s bowl kept me from giving up keto.

Recipes:

Crispy All-Cheese Taco Shells from Serious Eats

Keto and Paleo Tortillas, Taco Shells and Nachos from Keto Diet Blog

Veggie Lettuce Cups from Multiply Delicious

Cauliflower Soft Tortillas from The Healthy Foodie

Pork Carne Asada Tacos from Ruled.Me

Taco Pie from Fast Paleo

Eating out:

Torchy’s Tacos Bowl

Taco Salads

 Rice for:

Cauliflower Rice

PicMonkey Collage.jpg

I love the playful texture of rice, and I especially love the way it soaks up the liquids we give it. Cauliflower rice is no exception and it reheats with the same texture the next day. No more hard rice to pick out from your chicken.

Cauliflower even cooks faster than rice.

If I’m not worried about moisture I’ll just chop a cauliflower in fourths, pulse it in the blender until it is ‘rice’ and go from there.

‘Go from there’ can even just be tossing it in my cast iron with chicken and coconut oil for ten minutes. Add spices. Eat deliciousness.

To Make:

❤   How to Make Cauliflower Rice or Couscous from The Kitchn

Cauliflower Rice Sushi from The Vedge

Low Carb Coconut Lime Cauliflower Rice from I Breathe I’m Hungry

Cheesy Low Carb Cauiflower Risotto in Creamy Pesto Sauce from I Breathe I’m Hungry

Thai Chicken with Basil and Cauliflower Fried Rice-Low Carb from I Breathe I’m Hungry

Low Carb Dirty Rice  from Jamie Oliver

Keto Mushroom Wild Rice Pilaf from Ruled.Me

To Buy:

Miracle Shirataki Rice

Trader Joe’s Cauliflower Rice

 Mashed Potatoes for:

Cauliflower, Celeriac, or Broccoli Mash

PicMonkey Collage.jpg

Mashed potatoes were the first thing I went for at Thanksgiving, and Christmas, and at Sunday dinner, and at home. Seriously though, we’re Irish. My parents love them too, and the only time they got sick of them was after actually going to Ireland and having them with every meal.

So when I tell you that cauliflower mash is just as delicious you have to at least 10% believe me. Potato is such a texture food. What you love is that whipped creamy fluff entering you. Cauliflower has the texture and butter whips itself right in. Add your spices and you’ve got a delicious side mash or even a mash to top your shepherd’s pie with.

Honestly if you’re worried about giving anything up on keto, then try this mash so you know you aren’t missing out. You’ll even want to stay on keto just to have cauliflower mash every day.

Recipes:

❤   Creamy Coconut Cauliflower Mash from Mind Lifting Mouthgasms

????   Low Carb “Better than Potatoes” Cheesy Cauliflower Puree from I Breathe I’m Hungry

Broccoli Mash from Low Carb Kitty

Shepherd’s Pie with Cauliflower Topping from Oven Love

????   The Best Cauliflower Mash Ever from The Healthy Foodie

Cauliflower Mash with Bacon from Pop Sugar

Sour Cream and Cheddar Mashed Cauliflower from All Day I Dream About Food

Garlic and Chive Cauliflower Mash from I Breathe I’m Hungry

Roasted Celery Root, Turnip and Apple Puree from I Breathe I’m Hungry

Potato Fries for:

Celeriac, Daikon,Zucchini, Eggplant or Tofu Fries

Final Fries.jpg

Honestly what you want from fries is a crunch on the outside and a soft inside. Oh wait,  you like them fully crispy? Well bring fries back into your control. I’ve mastered how I like fries from being on keto and making them myself.

Eventually you just love a crispy veggie rectangle that you can dip in homemade mayo or ketchup.

I love to just chop celerica root into chunks of semi rectangles and fry them in coconut oil with salt. They need nothing else.

Recipes:

Avocado Fries from Taste-a-Holics

Low Carb “French Fries” Guide from Keto Diet Blog

❤    Low Carb Tofu Fries from The Primitive Palate

Celeriac Fries from Slender Kitchen

Low Carb Turnip Fries from Sweet as Honey

Courgette/Zucchini Fries from Kitchen Sanctuary

????    Daikon Fries from No Bun Please

Low Carb Eggplant Fries from I Breathe I’m Hungry

Potato Chips for:

Pepperoni, Almond Flour, Zucchini Radish, Parsnip, or Brussels Chips

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I laughed at low carbers when I first read a chips recipe. Ha. That space is reserved for potatoes and you can’t prove otherwise.

I was wrong. Try the pepperoni chips if you don’t believe it either.

Recipes:

Crispy Prosciutto Chips from No Bun Please

❤  Pepperoni Chips from The Low Carb Diet

Keto Tortilla Chips from Ruled.Me

Texas Chicken Nachos from Real Food by Dad

Low Carb Chili Doritos from Ditch the Wheat

Keto Cheetos from Maria Mind and Body

Funyuns from Maria Mind and Body

Zucchini Chips from Maria Mind and Body

Keto Tater Tot Nachos from Ruled.Me

Zucchini Nachos from Betsy Life

Brussels Sprouts Chips from All Day I Dream About Food

????  Parsnip Chips from I Breathe I’m Hungry

Radish and Leaves Chips from Mind Lifting Mouthgasms

To Buy:

Applegate Pepporonis : Best bacon and pepperonis I’ve found. You’ll also be supporting a company that loves their animals.

Pork Clouds

Pork Rinds

Kale Chips

Milk for:

Coconut milk, Almond Milk, Hemp Milk or Heavy Whipping Cream

Malk.jpg

I never really liked milk. Probably because I was given that 2% water with milk flavor growing up. I did love that Yoo-Hoo though, and Organic Valley chocolate milk, but I’ve always loved rich flavors, and eating the fat off the steak. My family even knew to give me that fat that were mental enough to not eat. Now I just drink heavy whipping cream straight or squeeze lemon in and add chocolate shavings.

Seriously though. The human body just loves fat.

I’ve recently switched to using coconut milk more than dairy and it is a creamy delicious treat too. Simply add chai, cocoa, a dash of vanilla, or drink it straight. You can also make ice cream with it. Oh and fudge.

To Make:

Low Carb Almond Milk Eggnog from All Day I Dream About Food

Homemade Caramel Frappuccino from All Day I Dream About Food

 Mexican Hot Chocolate from All Day I Dream About Food

Low Carb Chocolate Avocado Smoothie from All Day I Dream About Food

Low Carb and Paleo Hangover Smoothie from Mind Lifting Mouthgasms

Cocomilk Chai Latte from Mind Lifting Mouthgasms

Coconut Milk Recipe and Guide from Mind Lifting Mouthgasms

Homemade Almond Milk from Oh She Glows

To Buy:

Kalona Supernatural. Delicious and another happy animal company I want you to support????

Coconut Flakes

Sugar for:

Berries, Splenda, Xylitol, Erythitrol or Small Amounts of Coconut Sugar

Low Carb Sugar Recipes.jpg

The dedicated art to low carb sweets should hold you in awe. Seriously. Bow to your new masters and go up to them soaked in their ice cream so they can lick it off you. If you can handle not licking it all from yourself.

Carolyn from All Day I Dream About food has given us cheesecake, donuts, tiramisu, muffins, cinnamon twists, ice cream, pudding, brownies and even slow cooker cake. Did you know you can slow cook cake? This changed my cooking life and I still have a folder of slow cooker cake ideas just waiting to be made. Mine will be more savory, think bacon and rosemary.

Carolyn impresses me weekly with her new sweet treats and I highly recommend you subscribe to her blog in order to know you will never feel deprived when it comes to the low carb lifestyle.  I’ve actually created my favorite sweet tastes with her recipes as guides. I hadn’t ventured farther than cake until her and now I can make fudge crumb bars, lemon bars, muffins, slow cooker cake, ice cream and pudding. I don’t even need to look at the recipes anymore she’s taught me so well.

Recipes:

The Best Low Carb Keto Candy Recipes from All Day I Dream About Food

????  Whipped Coconut Cream and Berries by Mind Lifting Mouthgasms

????    😛   Keto Soft Batch Cookies from The Primitive Palate

????   Chocolate Fudge Crumb Bars from All Day I Dream About Food

Low Carb 3 Musketeers from Maria Mind and Body

Butterfinger Bars from Maria Mind and Body

Twix from All Day I Dream About Food

Low Carb Turtles from Maria Mind and Body

Paleo Peppermint Patties from Worth Every Chew

Low Carb Marshmallows from Keto Diet Ap

Low Carb Hostess Cupcakes from All Day I Dream About Food

31 Amazing Low Carb Cheesecake Recipes from All Day I Dream About Food

❤   Low Carb Slow Cooker Chocolate Cake from All Day I Dream About Food

Cinnamon Donuts with Brown Butter Glaze from All Day I Dream About Food

????  Low Carb Oreos from Primitive Palate

Tiramisu Layer Cake from All Day I Dream About Food

Low Carb and Sugar Free Chocolate Ice Cream by I Breathe I’m Hungry

Homemade Ho-ho’s from Maria Mind and Body

To Buy:

Coconut Flour

Almond Flour

Cocoa Powder

Xylitol

Swerve

Xantham Gum

 Wraps for:

Lettuce Wraps/Alternate Flour Wraps

Low Carb Lettuce Wraps Collage.jpg

For me bread takes away from flavor. Lettuce gives you its own flavor or stands in the background depending on the type you choose. I also now love that crunch.

Recipes:

Cream Cheese and Smoked Salmon Spinach Wraps from Berutto

Low Carb Spicy Shrimp Hand Rolls from I Breathe I’m Hungry

Turkey Lettuce Wraps from Sheer Luxe

Buffalo Chicken Lettuce Wraps from Skinny Taste (cut the carrots for keto)

Bahn Mi Lettuce Wraps from Cooking for Keeps (cut out the suga rand carrots for keto and make the mayo full fat )

Cabbage Wraps with Spicy Peanut Dipping Sauce from A House in the Hills (cut carrots and sugar)

Low Carb Wraps from Low Carb Maven

To Buy:

Five Guys Lettuce Wraps or Bowls

Jimmy Johns Lettuce Wrap Sandwiches

La Tortilla Factory Low Carb Tortillas

Mama Lupe Low Carb Tortillas

Julian’s Bakery GF Paleo Coconut Wraps

Mission Carb Balance Tortillas

 Root Veggies for:

Green Veggies/ This Keto Veggie List

Low Carb Veggies.jpg

Honestly veggie life has never tasted so good as it does now. Veggies with fats actually is more nutritious as they compliment absorption. Read Mark’s article:10 Food Pairings that Making Suprising Nutritional Sense by clicking this word (you can also touch it if clicking doesn’t work.

Recipes:

????   Bacon Wrapped Asparagus from Add a Pinch

Red Cabbage, Mint and Granny Smith Apple Slaw from I Breathe I’m Hungry

Roasted Rosemary Brussels Sprouts with Blueberries from The Healthy Maven

Butternut Squash Fritters from The Iron You

????  Butternut Squash and Spinach Lasagna from The Iron You

Blistered Green Beans with Spicy Aioli from All Day I Dream About Food

Smoked Salmon Cucumber Rolls from All Day I Dream About Food

Creamy Brussels Sprouts Smokey Bacon Salad from The Healthy Foodie

Spicy Sriracha Roasted Broccoli from I Breathe I’m Hungry

Grilled Eggplant Bruschetta from All Day I Dream About Food

????   Easy Keto Creamed Spinach from Ruled.Me

❤  Lemon Coconut Creamed Spinach from Mind Lifting Mouthgasms

To Buy:

Your Local Farm

Pizza for:

Almond Flour, Cauliflower, Cheese and Flax Seed Crusts

Low Carb Pizza.jpg

There have been many dedicated to the art of low carb pizza. Their art could even enter Marfa and people would go see plays about it for weeks.

In food seriousness though pizza is something you will never be deprived of. I’m not a big pizza maker but those that venture into keto pizza world come back with pepperonis and cheeses for years to come.

Recipes:

????   Fat Head Pizza Crust from Ditch The Carbs

Cauliflower Crust Cheese Pizza from Gimme Delicious

Cream Cheese Low Carb Pizza Crust from The Primitive Palate

Almond Flour Pizza Crust from All Day I Dream About Food

5 Minute Pizza from Ruled.Me

Low Carb Pepperoni Pizza from Ruled.Me

Easy Low Carb Pan Pizza from All Day I Dream About Food

Pizza Rolls from All Day I Dream About Food

Deep Dish Skillet Sausage Pizza from All Day I Dream About Food

Cauliflower Crust Calzone from The Iron You

Cauliflower Crust Stromboli from The Iron You

Cauliflower Crust Hot Pockets from The Iron You

Portobello Personal Pizzas from Ruled.Me

Low Carb Pepperoni Pizza Meatballs from I Breathe I’m Hungry

????     Pepperoni Pizza Cauliflower Casserole from I Breathe I’m Hungry

Low Carb Stromboli from All Day I Dream About Food

Personal Tip: If you’re eating out/at parties just eat the toppings.

 Alcoholic Drinks for:

Alcoholic Drinks

Alcohol Drinks.jpg

First, read this article by Mark about Ketosis and Alcohol. I personally love a glass of wine, a shot of gin or a dash of whiskey in my life. Beware that keto makes you a lightweight. Honestly it’s brilliant because it’s cheaper. Just watch out for that hangover. Don’t worry though, I’ve got a hangover smoothie for you.

Most liquors are no carbs, but for rum, and red wine is fine with just a glass. Here is a list of alcohols and their carbs.

I generally just do gin with soda water, a lime, and mint if they have it. So refreshing and delicious.

Recipes:

Low Carb Mojito All Day I Dream About Food

Low Carb Margaritas from All Day I Dream About Foo

Homemade Alcoholic Whipped Cream by Caveman Keto

Vanilla Latte Martini from All Day I Dream About Food

Blushing Whiskey Sour from Klienworth & Co

Low Carb Moscow Mule from I Breathe I’m Hungry

Cosmopolitan Jello Shots from All Day I Dream About Food

Coffee and Gin Gomptail from Mind Lifting Mouthgasms

To Buy:

Gompers: My favorite Gin Brand

Lucid: Favorite Absinthe Brand

 Soda for:

Tea, Sparkling Water with Extract, Kombucha, BPC, Extract Water or Homemade Drinks

Soda.jpg

I just indulge my liquid life by pouring extract water and tea into it. Starting kombucha is amazemouthing because I still get all that flavor of herbs seeping into liquid. Oh and adding apple cider vinegar in my water, but that’s just for taste kicks. Make sure to try that keto electrolyte drink. You have to boost electrolytes when on keto my lovers.

Recipes:

Raspberry Limeade from All Day I Dream About Food

Homemade Root Beer from Maria Mind and Body

❤  Keto Electrolyte Drink from Nourished Caveman

Kombucha Brewing Guide from Mind Lifting Mouthgasms

10 Natural Flavored Water Recipes from Reader’s Digest

Low Carb Elderberry Syrup from I Breathe I’m Hungry

Bulletproof Chai from Cheerfully Imperfect

Summer Iced Berry “Lemonade” from Keto Diet App

12 Low Carb Bulletproof Coffee Recipes from Low Carbe Diem

Low Carb Sugar Free Drinks List from Your Lighter Side

To Buy:

La Croix

High Carb Snacks for:

Nut Butters, Coconut Butters and Fat Bombs

Snacks.jpg

Low fat sugar stuffed food for high fat flavor. Seriously though. Your body loves it and explodes that love into your taste buds. I can barely even type about I’m sinking into delicious fatty memories of buttery goodness and avocados and….mmmm….bacon

Recipes:

Fat Bombs from Ruled.Me

60 Amazing Fat Bomb Recipes from Keto Diet App

10 Tips for Making the Best Coconut Butter Ever from Mark’s Daily Apple

11 Best Keto Paleo Fat Bombs from The Nourished Caveman

To Buy:

Coconut Oil

Ghee

Avocado Oil

Lard

Keto Bars

Keto Delivered: small batch keto food delivered to your door

Grass Finished Jerky

I did also realize the largest Internet sub list for keto is about 50. I wanted to make the largest one on the Internet. Mwahahahah. Goddess beast points.

This may have taken about fifteen hours or more of my life. Totally worth it.

I may have eaten half the food in my fridge though from these pictures being so delicious looking. Now you’re obligated to give me your email so I can eventually use it to pitch advertisers …or stock half my fridge????

I hope this helps your food journey and gives you a list to show off to friends that think this diet isn’t the most delicious mouth watering of a diet in human existence. Seriously though, it just makes sense. Meats and fats is all we really need. All that other earth stuff is just trying to make up for it. I’m just an organ meat lover at heart though.



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